New goal:
To reach the point where I'm so famous, I have a muppet made after me that is featured in a series of commercials.
Shut up. I can dream.
Sunday, January 24, 2010
Thursday, January 21, 2010
Don't you hate when...
... you come up with a really good idea, and then forget it, but you still remember it was a really good idea that you told yourself to remember? F*ck that.
... you sip through a straw expecting Sprite/Sierra Mist, but you get seltzer water. *gag*
... the way you discover the hole in the sole of your shoe is by stepping in a puddle.
... when you choke on water and you're coughing and someone tells you, "Here, drink some water!"
... you can't think of more things you hate.
Anyway. Just for the segment on Fox News ft. the Shake Weight:
... you sip through a straw expecting Sprite/Sierra Mist, but you get seltzer water. *gag*
... the way you discover the hole in the sole of your shoe is by stepping in a puddle.
... when you choke on water and you're coughing and someone tells you, "Here, drink some water!"
... you can't think of more things you hate.
Anyway. Just for the segment on Fox News ft. the Shake Weight:
Sunday, January 17, 2010
Rain makes me lazy.
I like to read biographies of famous people. It's like a manual that teaches you how to be badass.
Exhibit A.
When I get bored in class, I draw a bigass tree and sketch each leaf individually. Good for killing time in a 3-hour lecture. 'Cause it takes about 5 hours to complete.
like this, only more leaves. A LOT more leaves.
I'm trying to get better at cursive. I think it makes me seem smarter.
Yeah, this is totally how I write now.
One of my proudest accomplishments as a music major was learning how to draw a decent tenor/alto/C clef.
booyah.
I went to Mai and Margaret's junior recital today and it was amazing how much they've improved. I'm kind of jealous. So proud of my ex-quartet-mates!
Exhibit A.
When I get bored in class, I draw a bigass tree and sketch each leaf individually. Good for killing time in a 3-hour lecture. 'Cause it takes about 5 hours to complete.
like this, only more leaves. A LOT more leaves.
I'm trying to get better at cursive. I think it makes me seem smarter.
Yeah, this is totally how I write now.
One of my proudest accomplishments as a music major was learning how to draw a decent tenor/alto/C clef.
booyah.
I went to Mai and Margaret's junior recital today and it was amazing how much they've improved. I'm kind of jealous. So proud of my ex-quartet-mates!
Thursday, January 7, 2010
Things I'd rather not hear on a plane.
OK since I didn't put much effort into this post, I'm gonna put up a video. This guy's actually pretty funny.
Give him a chance:
I kinda hate flying. There's something about being 10,000 ft high with nothing between me and the ground that mildly terrifies me. So to comfort myself, I think of everything that could possibly make the flight worse. There's obvious stuff like, I dunno, having birds get caught in the engine and not having Sully Sullenberger there to land it in the Hudson, and then there are other things.
Here's something I'd rather not hear over the intercom:
"Everyone hold on, I'm gonna try something. *muffled* John, just because it isn't in the pilot manual doesn't mean this plane can't barrel-roll."I kinda hate flying. There's something about being 10,000 ft high with nothing between me and the ground that mildly terrifies me. So to comfort myself, I think of everything that could possibly make the flight worse. There's obvious stuff like, I dunno, having birds get caught in the engine and not having Sully Sullenberger there to land it in the Hudson, and then there are other things.
Here's something I'd rather not hear over the intercom:
It's always unsettling to me when the pilot asks "Is there a doctor on board?" Because you wonder what the hell is going on or what the fuck the person is dying of and if panicking is necessary and why your heart rate just tripled and you can feel your pulse in your temples.
But I guess I'd much rather hear that request than, say, "Is there a pilot on board?"
Or how about:
"We're approaching our destination. Get your parachutes ready."
Something tells me my seat cushion isn't gonna keep that 300lb fatty next to me afloat in the event of a water landing.
For some reason, its comforting to me to get on a plane that has the yellow slides that turn into rafts. I feel sorry for the people that end up in the water.
What if they moved all the luggage to the top of the plane and made a glass bottom?
Something tells me my seat cushion isn't gonna keep that 300lb fatty next to me afloat in the event of a water landing.
For some reason, its comforting to me to get on a plane that has the yellow slides that turn into rafts. I feel sorry for the people that end up in the water.
What if they moved all the luggage to the top of the plane and made a glass bottom?
Ever wonder what would happen if the wings just snapped off? You'd be going pretty fast. But probably not in the direction you'd prefer.
Andddd one more:
One week down.
Saturday, January 2, 2010
Pet Peeves Part II
I'm not actually sure if there was a pet peeves part I, but I complain enough for this title to be justified. Anyway...
Why does it seem like all the ugly ones wear the "UCLA GIRLS ROCK" t-shirt?
Drivers who don't use their fucking blinkers and slam on the brakes before making a turn when I'm right behind them. In the rain.
Parking enforcement officers.
Overly enthusiastic cashiers.
People who still "poke" on facebook.
Professors who make really bad jokes.
And the lone douchebag who laughs at them.
People who say they "stop liking" someone because they find out that person is in a relationship and they wouldn't wanna be a "home wrecker." It implies that if that person found out you liked them, they'd abandon their significant other to be with you. Get over yourself.
The sound of sharpening a knife.
Unless you're a professional photographer, don't take pictures of your food. It rarely looks as good as you think and it proves that you're too boring to talk to the other people at the table because you'd rather take pictures of the condensation on your plastic water cup. If you're trying to avoid socializing, go ahead and take the pictures. But don't go home and upload the close-up low-angle black-and-white shot of the half-eaten tomato that fell out of your exotic-looking BLT.
People who think it's clever to turn words into "math equations," e.g. ba(na)²
[(ma) (d/du .5u²) sqrt(E/m) (ln e^k)]* people who think that's funny. ☺
When two people in a group have the same name and someone thinks it's outrageously clever to say "omfg it's like JOHN SQUARED!" No, it's not. Two people having the same name doesn't mean you can take a 2 and put it anywhere relative to the name. If there are two "John"s, you have (John + John), or 2(John), which doesn't sound nearly as intelligent as John², but at least it's correct, and not fucking retarded.
Too much cheese.
Why does it seem like all the ugly ones wear the "UCLA GIRLS ROCK" t-shirt?
Drivers who don't use their fucking blinkers and slam on the brakes before making a turn when I'm right behind them. In the rain.
Parking enforcement officers.
Overly enthusiastic cashiers.
People who still "poke" on facebook.
Professors who make really bad jokes.
And the lone douchebag who laughs at them.
People who say they "stop liking" someone because they find out that person is in a relationship and they wouldn't wanna be a "home wrecker." It implies that if that person found out you liked them, they'd abandon their significant other to be with you. Get over yourself.
The sound of sharpening a knife.
Unless you're a professional photographer, don't take pictures of your food. It rarely looks as good as you think and it proves that you're too boring to talk to the other people at the table because you'd rather take pictures of the condensation on your plastic water cup. If you're trying to avoid socializing, go ahead and take the pictures. But don't go home and upload the close-up low-angle black-and-white shot of the half-eaten tomato that fell out of your exotic-looking BLT.
People who think it's clever to turn words into "math equations," e.g. ba(na)²
[(ma) (d/du .5u²) sqrt(E/m) (ln e^k)]* people who think that's funny. ☺
When two people in a group have the same name and someone thinks it's outrageously clever to say "omfg it's like JOHN SQUARED!" No, it's not. Two people having the same name doesn't mean you can take a 2 and put it anywhere relative to the name. If there are two "John"s, you have (John + John), or 2(John), which doesn't sound nearly as intelligent as John², but at least it's correct, and not fucking retarded.
Too much cheese.
People who say "no offense."
"You're kind of an asshole, no offense."
So what do we call this decade anyway? The twenty-tens? That bothers me too.
Friday, January 1, 2010
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