Wednesday, June 29, 2011

Hallow shells of human beings

"Woe to you, Parking Enforcement Officers! You travel over land and sea to write a single parking ticket. You snakes! You brood of vipers! How will you escape being condemned to hell?"
-Matthew 23:40


That's right. Listen to Jesus.

Seriously, who gives a U-Haul truck a parking ticket when people are trying to move out? Find me a U-Haul parked legally and I'll find you a parking enforcement officer with a soul.

Has anyone else noticed that 99.8%* of parking enforcement officers are fat, ugly, scowling, social rejects? They don't actually start out that way. They start out as normal, average looking people.


"I'm unemployed and the only things I'm good at are driving white Priuses and being a douchebag. I guess there's only one future for me..."



First day on the job!









A week later.




I wanna find the Parking Enforcement headquarters where they park all their little white Priuses and do this:

Fist pump included.





*The other 0.2% of them have Dorian Gray situations and end up killing themselves. Don't worry. I didn't spare anyone.