Things I'd rather not hear on a plane.

OK since I didn't put much effort into this post, I'm gonna put up a video. This guy's actually pretty funny.

Give him a chance:



I kinda hate flying. There's something about being 10,000 ft high with nothing between me and the ground that mildly terrifies me. So to comfort myself, I think of everything that could possibly make the flight worse. There's obvious stuff like, I dunno, having birds get caught in the engine and not having Sully Sullenberger there to land it in the Hudson, and then there are other things.

Here's something I'd rather not hear over the intercom:

"Everyone hold on, I'm gonna try something. *muffled* John, just because it isn't in the pilot manual doesn't mean this plane can't barrel-roll."

It's always unsettling to me when the pilot asks "Is there a doctor on board?" Because you wonder what the hell is going on or what the fuck the person is dying of and if panicking is necessary and why your heart rate just tripled and you can feel your pulse in your temples.

But I guess I'd much rather hear that request than, say, "Is there a pilot on board?"

Or how about:

"We're approaching our destination. Get your parachutes ready."

Something tells me my seat cushion isn't gonna keep that 300lb fatty next to me afloat in the event of a water landing.
For some reason, its comforting to me to get on a plane that has the yellow slides that turn into rafts. I feel sorry for the people that end up in the water.

What if they moved all the luggage to the top of the plane and made a glass bottom?

Ever wonder what would happen if the wings just snapped off? You'd be going pretty fast. But probably not in the direction you'd prefer.

Andddd one more:

One week down.