Bonjourno. Gratsi.

I realized you can't multitask while watching a foreign film. I caught myself turning up the volume (as to better "hear" it) for "The Lives of Others" (which is in German) and then I realized how retarded that was.

Why is it that whenever I see a cop, I suddenly forget everything I was ever taught about driving and I can't remember for the life of me what the speed limit is?

I can't imagine what life was like before glasses were invented. And by glasses I mean the things that made your vision better, not the things that hold your wine.

Don't you hate it when, during class, you randomly recall something hilarious a friend said and start laughing? And then you try to cover it up by coughing?

Trying to cover up a fart by coughing never works. The pre-cough tension forces it out a split second before you can cover it up.

(I apologize in advance for this one)
Apparently taking a dump is an ab workout (Dennis's brilliant insight). Does that mean that if you were constipated for long enough, you'd get a 6 pack from all that pushing? Or if the reverse is true, would having a 6 pack make it easier to shit? You'd probably have to be careful not to give yourself a hemorrhoid.

I don't know what to think when I see an Asian person mocking other Asians by pulling on his eyes to make them look even squinty-er.

The Chinese writing system seems like a pain in the ass, but Arabic looks pretty ridiculous too. And they write from right to left! Incredible. Arabic and Russian both look pretty badass actually. I don't know if that's true, or if that's just what I think because the media has brainwashed me into thinking Arabs are all crazy gun-wielding flag-burning America-cursing killing machines and James Bond movies have taught me that you gotta watch out for them Russians. Regardless of the fact that I've pretty much only seen these languages associated with war and/or terrorism, I'd feel pretty badass if I could learn at least one of them.
"Hello," in
Russian - привет
(tfel ot thgir morf s'ti esuaceb) مرحبا - cibarA
Man, typing like that must be a bitch. I totally got off on a weird tangent there, forgive me.*

I wonder if European chicks dig American accents. And by European I mean British or Australian. And I assume "British" covers English, Scottish, and Irish. And I guess Australia covers New Zealand.

By the way, what continent is New Zealand on? Someone enlighten me.

This post is f*cking retarded. Gotta get back into the swing of things.


*new poll, inspired by this musing!