Saturday, September 12, 2009

Football

When I see squirrels in the road, I don't try to dodge them. I just plow right on through. If I miss, great. If I don't, fine. Natural selection will weed out all the dumbass ones that like to roam around the streets and we'll be left with smart ones that stay off the streets unless they WANT to die. And then I would be obliging them!

I wonder if Shaq can "palm" a basketball with just one finger (would that be called "fingering" the basketball...?) That man is an ogre...

Football is so much more intense and entertaining when you're an underdog. Too bad USC will never know the thrill of that. Where's the fun in cheering on a team that you already know is gonna win? When you're cheering USC and you win, it's like, "OK, great. That's expected." But if you lose, it's f*cking pathetic. Whereas when UCLA loses, we're like, "Oh well, it happens." And if we win we're like OMFG YESSS!!
I definitely prefer having a mediocre football team right now.

Check out George Carlin's hilarious comparison of football and baseball:

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