Books

Reading is good. I'm will finish all of these books by the end of the summer.

Sophie's World: DONE!
Acts of Faith: DONE!
Thus Spoke Zarathustra: in progress
A. Lincoln: in progress
Malcolm X: almost done!
Oscar Wilde - the Major Works: in progress
Stem Cell Now: DONE!
The Prince: almost done!
Scarlet Letter: haven't started
Killing Pablo: haven't started

I can do it!

Apparently I'm a Fattist Idealist.

Came across this ridiculous article while doing research for my internship:
WALL-E's 'fattist' satire angers fat pride groups

"Fat pride"? Are you sh*tting me? Being proud to be fat is about as reasonable as being proud to be a diabetic. Or ugly. Or handicapped. Which are all pretty much side-effects of being a fat f*ck. I guess as a straight, white, (and non-overweight) male, it's hard for me to find sources of pride that are socially acceptable to express.
White pride? That's a no-no.
Straight pride? That's just odd.
Man pride? When does it end... we might as well all just be proud to be human. Hmm.

You know what, I hope that one day, aliens take over. Why? I'll tell you.
If I'm in SoCal and I come across someone workin' some Sharks/Giants/A's/Warriors/Niners/Raiders gear: instant connection.
If I'm at another school and I come across someone in UCLA attire: instant connection.
If I'm out of state and I meet someone from California: instant connection.
If I'm out of country and I meet another American: instant connection.
It doesn't even matter if we exchange a single word, I'll automatically feel a sense of camaraderie with this person. And you know you would too.
So now imagine we've been enslaved by aliens. Imagine how united we'd be. Every time you see another human, "What up, man!" So damn excited just to see another person. Hopefully the aliens will have a derogatory term for us, so we can bond over the word and eventually be the only ones allowed to use it. "Human Pride" wouldn't sound so retarded anymore.

Actually, I just realized: I guess it would be better if aliens TRIED to take over the world, but we dominated them and enslaved their alien asses. Dude... imagine unleashing Al-Qaeda, North Korea, all the genocidal maniacs in Africa, the sheer number of Chinese and Indian people, and the combined nuclear power of the world... ALL that sh*t directed at some unfortunate extraterrestrial b*tches. Team Humanity would put up a hell of a fight. And once we begin exploiting the aliens for cheap labor, we'd be too busy discriminating against them to hate on our own kind! What can I say, I'm an idealist.

And we could still have "Human Pride," just 'cause it's in our nature to be assholes.




‎"A lot of people have gaydar... I have fatdar. I can automatically tell if you're fat or not."
-Zach Galifianakis


P.S. I don't hate fat people. I just judge them. Watching a fatty chow down at McDonald's is like watching an asthmatic do this:

It just makes me angry and sad. And I'm mainly talking about those who are morbidly obese and bring a chair to lounge in while they wait in line at KFC for their family-sized bucket of popcorn chicken. But if you just got a little chub, I really don't care.

Good ideas.

First of all, I believe we should take over Canada and call it New Alaska. Why? Who cares. Because it'd be funny. F*ck you.


Next, how to create a hit pop song:
1. Awkwardly sing your own name, then auto-tune it a la "Jasoooon Derulooooo."
2. Take a retarded pick-up line and auto-tune it, a la "Call me Mr. Flintstone, I can make your bed rock!"
3. Repeat.

Example:
" ♪ Aleeexx Reicherrrrrt ♫ (I need more vowels in my name)
Is your name summer? 'Cause you're hott oooOOOoooOOO
'Cause you're so hott yeahh oooOOOoooOOO "


(Me, as soon as this shizz goes mainstream)



Lastly, a stereogram t-shirt! Amazing idea. Especially if you love having people intensely stare at you.
(Stare long enough, you'll see some birds or something:)

Imagine this. On your shirt! Or on the crotch area of your pants... "Stare long enough, you'll see something in 3D."

Rage. Road Rage.

It's a good thing James Bond doesn't get road rage. With cars like this, who knows what could happen...

"Asshole cut me off?! Eat lead, motherf*cker!!"

¡GOOOOOOOOOOOL!

Imagine how annoying watching basketball would be if the commentators got this excited every time there was a score...


World Cup is over. Back to caring even less about soccer.

La la la

It's going to suck to be a history major in 1000 years... so much more shit to learn. And primary sources from the 21st century will consist of twitter and stupid blogs. I guess with every passing year, being a historian gets a little bit more difficult.

I wonder how Mexico feels about New Mexico. We should rename Alaska "New Canada." And where is the original "Jersey"? or "Zealand"?

Dumb things I believed as a kid:
-that drinking milk would make my teeth whiter.
-that eating ice cream would make me feel warmer on a cold day because it would cool down the inside of my body and make the outside air seem relatively warmer.
-that "auspicious" was a typo for "suspicious" because "a" and "s" are so close on the keyboard

And this is why I think Kesha is a talentless, white-trash, shitty-version-of-Lady-Gaga who can do nothing but crap out "catchy" songs that appeal to the lowest common denominator:

What. The. F*ck...





I need to find a job.

Summer!

So I potentially have a lot of free time this summer. I guess I'll start updating more again!

OK so I haven't researched this at all, but I seriously don't understand the point of signing credit card receipts. You could change your signature each time and no one would give a crap. My signature has evolved (or degenerated) to look like a Richter scale graph, and I doubt there will be an ramifications. (I really love the word "ramifications," it's like a more badass way to say "consequences." I never say "consequences" anymore.)

And don't even get me started on the stupidity of those credit card touch screen signing pads... good god. Am I the only one whose signature ends up looking like a Rorschach inkblot?


I guess you can kinda make out the A and the R...

I should probably make some summer goals. Word on the street is that writing down your goals and saying them out loud makes you more likely to go through with them.
Goal #1: Think of more goals.


Happy Summer everyone!

Another boring post.

Too lazy to write anything original right now.

So anyway, Ben Franklin was pretty awesome. Aside from inventing a ton of shit and helping found the most powerful nation on the planet, he did a little writing as well ("A penny saved is a penny earned," "Failing to prepare is preparing to fail," "God helps those who help themselves." Ring any bells?). In his 20s he made a list of thirteen virtues that he felt were an important guide for living. These virtues can be divided into those related to personal behavior (temperance, order, resolution, frugality, moderation, industry, cleanliness, and tranquility) and those related to social character traits (sincerity, justice, silence, chastity, and humility). Take a look and consider what this guy has to say.

Benjamin Franklin's 13 virtues:

Temperance: Eat not to dullness; drink not to elevation.

Order: Let all your things have their places; let each part of your business have its time.

Resolution: Resolve to perform what you ought; perform without fail what you resolve.

Frugality: Make no expense but to do good to others or yourself; i.e., waste nothing.

Moderation: Avoid extremes; forbear resenting injuries so much as you think they deserve.

Industry: Lose no time; be always employed in something useful; cut off all unnecessary actions.

Cleanliness: Tolerate no uncleanliness in body, clothes, or habitation.

Tranquility: Be not disturbed at trifles, or at accidents common or unavoidable.

Silence: Speak not but what may benefit others or yourself; avoid trifling conversation.

Sincerity: Use no hurtful deceit; think innocently and justly, and, if you speak, speak accordingly.

Justice: Wrong none by doing injuries, or omitting the benefits that are your duty.

Chastity: Rarely use venery but for health or offspring, never to dullness, weakness, or the injury of your own or another's peace or reputation.

Humility: Imitate Jesus and Socrates.

Why I don't celebrate birthdays

History?

I should seriously be a college counselor. I've sampled more majors than anyone else I know, and I have a very good idea of what most north campus majors are like.
I've taken an intro course in:
-Communication Studies
-Sociology
-Statistics
-Acting/Theatre
-Psychology
-Macro/Microeconomics
-Physics


My UCLA timeline looks something like this:

Music -> Comm, maybe Sociology -> Psych -> Econ -> Stat -> History?


I'd be surprised if people didn't roll their eyes at that. That's not even slightly amusing. It's just ridiculous. Not something I'm proud of, but hopefully once I graduate (whenever that is) I can look back and laugh.

Here are my thoughts on each major:

Music
Ethnomusicology is probably the easiest major on campus, but Performance is far from it. Music Theory and History are both a pain in the ass, and on top of that you have to take your GE's and rehearse for Philharmonia 6 hours a week (which blows too). Majors are supposed to practice at least 3 hours a day (I averaged about 40 mins) and this doesn't include chamber ensembles. If you don't practice and you suck during your lesson, you get bitched at. If you DO practice and do well, you raise the standards of the professor. It's a vicious cycle; a battle I always lost.


Communication Studies & Sociology
I think it's fair to lump these both into one category. Both are pretty much bullshit majors. Sociology majors admit it, but Comm Studies majors tend to get butthurt when you tell them this. They're convinced that since Comm is so hard to get accepted into, it must be legit. The only reason it's so difficult to get into is because a ton of people know it's a joke once you're accepted, all the dumb hot sorority girls who dream of being in the entertainment industry think Communications will lead them down that path, and naturally the combination of these two groups leads to thousands of applicants. I don't really care for the counselors at Murphy Hall and I'm sure it doesn't take much training to do their job, but when I told them I was considering Comm Studies, even THEY say it's a waste of time.

How to become a Communications major in 3 easy steps:
-Don't take Comm 10 til you've been admitted. It's the only hard class in the major. (Maybe avoid Comm 1 too, unless you get a good professor.)
-Stick with upper div Comm classes til you've been admitted. Counterintuitive, I know. But very true. There's an entire class dedicated to "body language." I took an upper div Comm class called "Principles of Argumentation/Debate," literally didn't do half the work, and walked away with an A.
-Remember Comm 10? Yeah. Treat this class like you treat the people flyering on BruinWalk and avoid it like the plague.


Economics
Combine this department with Political Science and you've pretty much got 90% of frat row. Then you got all the Asians in the Business fraternities. The majority of people that major in Economics don't really give a shit about Econ, they just figure it's the fastest way to a six figure salary. Half of them are douchebags set on becoming investment bankers. Most of the material you're educated in is theory, and rarely seems applicable to real life. Like Comm and Sociology, majoring in Econ seems like a huge waste of time. But unlike Comm and Sociology, nothing in Economics is particularly interesting. Plus, majoring in Economics doesn't even give you an edge if you're planning on going to business school. I don't think a lot of people realize that in comparison, engineers, English and Psych majors have just as good a chance (if not a better chance) of getting into a decent business program.

Psychology
I have respect for Psych. I feel like when you get to the core of most north campus majors, it all boils down to Psychology. It's a good balances of the social sciences and the natural sciences. Given that Psych is the most popular major at UCLA, I'm guessing most of the people who decide to major in it are the ones who have no idea what they want to do with their lives. Nothing wrong with that. Plus, I feel that learning about the way people think is generally a good thing to educate yourself in to prepare you for, you know, life? This department is potentially saving socially awkward people from themselves!
So yeah, I can appreciate Psych.

Statistics
Useful!
Marketable!
Boring as hell.
I realized the only thing I found interesting in Stats was probability. I thought it'd be useful in gambling at some point. The association of Stat with gambling made it temporarily cool. Then I realized everything else it concerns is lame, and I can learn about probability in my spare time if I want to. I don't need to major in f*cking Statistics to do that.


Honestly, in general most north campus majors aren't very marketable, so it doesn't matter what you major in anyway. A lot of this stuff you don't need to be taught. Professors are just there to force you to learn it on your own. Students end up teaching themselves most of the material anyway. (I can only speak for all the majors I've experienced, can't speak for engineering or life sciences.) School makes me bitter sometimes.


And this is why I'm considering History:

"The advantages found in history seem to be of three kinds; as it amuses the fancy, as it improves the understanding, and as it strengthens virtue.

"In reality, what more agreeable entertainment to the mind, than to be transported into the remotest ages of the world, and to observe human society, in its infancy, making the first faint essays towards the arts and sciences? To see the policy of government and the civility of conversation refining by degrees, and everything that is ornamental to human life advancing toward its perfection? To mark the rise, progress, declension, and final extinction of the most flourishing empires; the virtues which contributed to their greatness, and the vices which drew on their ruin? In short, to see all the human race, from the beginning of time, pass as it were in review before us, appearing in their true colours, without any of those disguises, which, during their lifetime, so much perplexed the judgment of the beholders? What spectacle can be imagined so magnificent, so various, so interesting? What amusement, either of the senses or imagination, can be compared with it? Shall our trifling pastimes, which engross so much of our time, be preferred, as more satisfactory, and more fit to engage our attention? How perverse must that taste be, which is capable of so wrong a choice of pleasure?

"But history is a most improving part of knowledge, as well as an agreeable amusement; and, indeed, a great part of what we commonly call erudition, and value so highly, is nothing but an acquaintance with historical facts. An extensive knowledge of this kind belongs to men of letters; but I must think it an unpardonable ignorance in persons, of whatever sex or condition, not to be acquainted with the histories of their own country, along with the histories of ancient Greece and Rome.

"I must add, that history is not only a valuable part of knowledge, but opens the door to many other parts of knowledge, and affords materials to most of the sciences. And, indeed, if we consider the shortness of human life, and our limited knowledge, even of what passes in our own time, we must be sensible that we should be forever children in understanding, were it not for this invention, which extends our experience to all past ages, and to most distant nations, making them contribute as much to our improvement in wisdom, as if they had actually lain under our observation. A man acquainted with history, may, in some respect, be said to have lived from the beginning of the world, and to have been making continual additions in his stock of knowledge, in every country.

"There is also an advantage in that knowledge which is acquired by history, above is what is learned by the practice of the world, that it brings us acquainted with human affairs, without diminishing in the least from the most delicate sentiments of virtue. And, to tell the truth, I scarce know any study or occupation so unexceptionable as history, in this particular. Poets can paint virtue in the most charming colours; but, as they address themselves entirely to the passions, they often become advocates to vice. Even philosophers are apt to bewilder themselves in the subtilty of their speculations; and we have seen some go so far, as to deny the reality of all moral distinctions. But I think it a remark worthy the attention of the speculative reader, that the historians have been, almost without exception, the true friends of virtue, and have always represented it in its proper colours, however they may have erred in their judgments of particular persons. Nor is this combination of historians, in favour of virtue, at all difficult to be accounted for. When a man of business enters into life and action, he is more apt to consider the characters of men as they have relation to his interest, than as they stand in themselves, and has his judgment warped on every occasion, by the violence of his passion. When a philosopher contemplates character and manners, in his closet, the general abstract view of the objects leaves the mind so cold and unmoved, that the sentiments of nature have no room to play, and he scarce feels the difference betwixt vice and virtue. History keeps in a just medium betwixt these extremes, and places the objects in their true point of view. The writers of history, as well as the readers, are sufficiently interested in the characters and events, to have a lively sentiment of blame or praise; and, at the same time, have no particular interest or concern to pervert their judgment."

-David Hume
Scottish philosopher

You wanna major in history now too, huh?





Pet peeves of the week:
-Below-average-looking girls who think they're hot
-Girls with mustaches

God forbid I meet a girl with a mustache who thinks she's hot...