I hope your expectations are low!
Being funny is hardly an art. Anyone can be funny. You don't have to be particularly clever. Most of the time, there's a fine line between being funny and being obnoxious. And how difficult is it to be obnoxious? It's practically second nature for most people. If you have no trouble being an ass, you're 90% there.
That being said, here are some things that I've found generally work:
quoting funny movies
(if you don't know what movie I'm referencing, we can't be friends.)making puns
Caution: puns can be dangerous. Side-effects may include pity-laughs, loss of friends, or death.farting
sarcasm
making fun of bros
laughing at everything
(this situation is also funny because the guy craving hummus is white.)impressions
saying something really awkward with a straight face
*(see side-effects for puns)racist jokes
And finally...
wit!
While all these other examples prove how easy it is to be funny without being clever, wit still gets the most respect. If you don't know how to be witty, ask Kelly. Because I don't know how to be. Try talking about grapes being the fruit of hope or something.
:)
On another note...
I wish Google Maps included traffic at Wooden.
I also think they should play Crazy Frog music at the gym:
Think of how cracked out everyone would be. You can't listen to Crazy Frog and NOT get a good workout. Just lying here on the futon and typing is making my heart race thanks to Crazy Frog. Or maybe it was the 7 piece of bacon I ate for breakfast...
WHY AM I WASTING SO MUCH TIME
