Books

Reading is good. I'm will finish all of these books by the end of the summer.

Sophie's World: DONE!
Acts of Faith: DONE!
Thus Spoke Zarathustra: in progress
A. Lincoln: in progress
Malcolm X: almost done!
Oscar Wilde - the Major Works: in progress
Stem Cell Now: DONE!
The Prince: almost done!
Scarlet Letter: haven't started
Killing Pablo: haven't started

I can do it!

Apparently I'm a Fattist Idealist.

Came across this ridiculous article while doing research for my internship:
WALL-E's 'fattist' satire angers fat pride groups

"Fat pride"? Are you sh*tting me? Being proud to be fat is about as reasonable as being proud to be a diabetic. Or ugly. Or handicapped. Which are all pretty much side-effects of being a fat f*ck. I guess as a straight, white, (and non-overweight) male, it's hard for me to find sources of pride that are socially acceptable to express.
White pride? That's a no-no.
Straight pride? That's just odd.
Man pride? When does it end... we might as well all just be proud to be human. Hmm.

You know what, I hope that one day, aliens take over. Why? I'll tell you.
If I'm in SoCal and I come across someone workin' some Sharks/Giants/A's/Warriors/Niners/Raiders gear: instant connection.
If I'm at another school and I come across someone in UCLA attire: instant connection.
If I'm out of state and I meet someone from California: instant connection.
If I'm out of country and I meet another American: instant connection.
It doesn't even matter if we exchange a single word, I'll automatically feel a sense of camaraderie with this person. And you know you would too.
So now imagine we've been enslaved by aliens. Imagine how united we'd be. Every time you see another human, "What up, man!" So damn excited just to see another person. Hopefully the aliens will have a derogatory term for us, so we can bond over the word and eventually be the only ones allowed to use it. "Human Pride" wouldn't sound so retarded anymore.

Actually, I just realized: I guess it would be better if aliens TRIED to take over the world, but we dominated them and enslaved their alien asses. Dude... imagine unleashing Al-Qaeda, North Korea, all the genocidal maniacs in Africa, the sheer number of Chinese and Indian people, and the combined nuclear power of the world... ALL that sh*t directed at some unfortunate extraterrestrial b*tches. Team Humanity would put up a hell of a fight. And once we begin exploiting the aliens for cheap labor, we'd be too busy discriminating against them to hate on our own kind! What can I say, I'm an idealist.

And we could still have "Human Pride," just 'cause it's in our nature to be assholes.




‎"A lot of people have gaydar... I have fatdar. I can automatically tell if you're fat or not."
-Zach Galifianakis


P.S. I don't hate fat people. I just judge them. Watching a fatty chow down at McDonald's is like watching an asthmatic do this:

It just makes me angry and sad. And I'm mainly talking about those who are morbidly obese and bring a chair to lounge in while they wait in line at KFC for their family-sized bucket of popcorn chicken. But if you just got a little chub, I really don't care.

Good ideas.

First of all, I believe we should take over Canada and call it New Alaska. Why? Who cares. Because it'd be funny. F*ck you.


Next, how to create a hit pop song:
1. Awkwardly sing your own name, then auto-tune it a la "Jasoooon Derulooooo."
2. Take a retarded pick-up line and auto-tune it, a la "Call me Mr. Flintstone, I can make your bed rock!"
3. Repeat.

Example:
" ♪ Aleeexx Reicherrrrrt ♫ (I need more vowels in my name)
Is your name summer? 'Cause you're hott oooOOOoooOOO
'Cause you're so hott yeahh oooOOOoooOOO "


(Me, as soon as this shizz goes mainstream)



Lastly, a stereogram t-shirt! Amazing idea. Especially if you love having people intensely stare at you.
(Stare long enough, you'll see some birds or something:)

Imagine this. On your shirt! Or on the crotch area of your pants... "Stare long enough, you'll see something in 3D."

Rage. Road Rage.

It's a good thing James Bond doesn't get road rage. With cars like this, who knows what could happen...

"Asshole cut me off?! Eat lead, motherf*cker!!"

¡GOOOOOOOOOOOL!

Imagine how annoying watching basketball would be if the commentators got this excited every time there was a score...


World Cup is over. Back to caring even less about soccer.